Thursday, April 05, 2007

For the love of Brows…

This is a matter near and dear to my heart. For those of you that are models for my company you have heard me pontificate on this topic. There is a dreadful trend in eyebrows that I see over and over in young girls: Over plucking! Actually: Over, over plucking. I don’t know why they are doing it. It looks terrible on everyone. It makes even pretty girls look awful.

Who started this trend? Where else is it seen? In what city or even remote island? On what celebrity or on what model? (Okay- sure I love Whoopie too- but do you really want to look like her?) Someone PLEASE TELL ME lest I go mad! The only thing worse is when they pair this heinous look with snowy white eye shadow and sharp laser thin black eyeliner inside their bottom lid. This look is infiltrating the mainstream at an alarming rate. Oh, the tragedy! Coco Channel and Kevyn Aucoin must be spinning in their graves. If only I had their crow footless eyes and elastic skin- you wouldn’t catch this wrinkly lady squandering those gifts with this incongruous look. No way Sharpe. It is the tale of the Emperor’s new clothes for the 21st century gone mad.

I am truly confounded by the notion of having access to the correct way to do something and NOT doing it that way especially when the correct way costs no more than the incorrect way of doing it and it takes waaaay less time. Furthermore the correct way makes everyone look better, it's less painful, lower maintenance, and doesn’t scare small children. (Why do you think so many people have an aversion to clowns- think about it- it’s probably a brow thing too.)

Do you see where I am having a hard time getting my cerebrum around all of this? I see pretty young girls with lovely brows one day and then a few months later I bump into them and it’s like they have had a run in with a one-eyed waxer. (I think: “Is there a big casting for space aliens going on and I missed the memo?”) Nope- they have just succumbed to “The Look”. Well here’s a new memo: “The look” is wrong. “The look” is ghastly. “The look” is a malevolent force working its way through the halls of schools, malls and office buildings all across the country. “The Look” must be stopped.

I have racked my brain to come up with an appropriate metaphor for this whole scary thing, and I think I have done it: It is like going to the Doctor and saying: “Doctor- I feel great- but everyone around me is sick- could you please make me sick?”

Now girls, if you continue with this trend you may find that my cautionary tale has come too late and you will not be able to grow your eyebrows back. (It’s kind of like when your mom used to tell you: “If you don’t stop making that funny face- it may freeze that way and you’ll be sorry.” But this time it’s true! Your face (or at least a little part of it WILL stay that way- and you really WILL be sorry.)

Okay- Still don’t believe me? Here is my challenge: Pick up a magazine- any magazine and find a photo of someone whose eyebrows match yours. If you can find 4 people whose brows look like yours you are right on track. (These photos can not come from The Most Wanted poster at the post office, a police photo array, or the “Don’t” Section in the back of any of the fashion magazines.) If you can’t then you probably need to rethink your brows- but don’t despair there is lots of help in the links below!

For more information on eyebrows check out my eyebrow segment on the April 9th episode of Bridge Street with Rick and Julie on WIXT Newschannel 9 (watch the video now at: ) and you only need to wax once a month or so- not once a week- I misspoke :-)

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